I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize