I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
