Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
