I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
