I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
