Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
