Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
