ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
