Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
it's like iHOP with fire
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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