Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
