I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
