my being single is dangerous.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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