But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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