in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
