You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
