I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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