she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
