awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
