I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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