He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
