I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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