I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
