I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
