Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize