So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
