He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize