He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
