Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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