So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
as a side note pls kill me
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
