i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
