Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
