Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize