i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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