This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
