Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
