fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
