just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Still dying that you shit outside
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
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