I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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