have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
