maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
