Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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