As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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