Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize