We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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