My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
