____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
