Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
