I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
