i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize