his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize