She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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