Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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