Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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