she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
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