u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I wish you could order shots online.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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