On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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