so that wasnt chicken after all
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
