I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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