so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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