he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
