I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
