Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
