Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Randomize
